Planning an Elopement for Two (And How To Tell Your Family and Friends You’re Eloping Alone)

We’ve talked before about how you can announce your elopement to the world after you’ve tied the knot. But what about when your loved ones start asking questions about your wedding right after you get engaged, and you already know you want to elope privately? We’ve got some answers to that question, because in today’s world, you shouldn’t have to keep your elopement a secret if you don’t want to. So, we’ve compiled some strategies for how exactly to elope alone — and how to respectfully tell people you’re eloping without family and friends.

How To Plan an Elopement for Two

1. Planning an Elopement for Two
2. Don’t apologize
3. Express yourself
4. Commemorate the occasion
5. Let it go

While this can be as simple as heading to the courthouse and making it legally official, there are plenty of other ways and places to elope solo. First, consider your options and your budget. Would you prefer to save some cash and stay local? Perhaps you’d like to take a road trip to a neighboring state, and stay there for a few days to turn your wedding day into a mini-moon (a smaller and typically more affordable honeymoon for those who haven’t planned their honeymoon yet, or are waiting months to do so). Or maybe you’d like to splurge and go all out, booking a ticket to somewhere like Hawaii or New York City. Make sure you check to see if there are elopement packages for two in the location you’re considering traveling to, or, if you’re planning to do everything yourself, scout out vendors that you feel confident about. Either way, make sure you and your partner have agreed on your location and your budget prior to booking anything, that way you’re both on the same page about your big day.

Telling your loved ones that you’ll be eloping alone without guests might be difficult, but if wanting to elope alone has been your vision for as long as you can remember, don’t let the worries of how others will take the news change the way you want to do things. Remember to be gentle, and, if possible, announce the news when you’re face-to-face with your closest friends and family. Let them know that, while you love and cherish their relationship and closeness to you, your wedding day isn’t something that you want to stress over, and that your choice to elope alone is something you’ve thought deeply about and know that it’s ultimately the right decision for you and your partner.

Don’t apologize

You wouldn’t apologize for buying the type of car that you like best just because it may not be everyone’s favorite model, so why apologize for having your dream elopement? Your family and friends may feel disappointed initially – and definitely take the time to explain that it’s not your intention to hurt anyone with your decision. But if you’ve got your heart set on eloping and not telling anyone (or eloping alone and filling your loved ones in on your plans), don’t apologize for going through with it – because chasing your happiness is ultimately nothing to apologize for.  

Express yourself

Sometimes, couples choose to elope alone without telling a single soul before they tie the knot. But if you’re not wanting to keep secrets from your close ones, then don’t! Feel free to explain the reasons why you’ve chosen to elope solo. Not only is this a great way to clear up questions from family and friends, but it can also make them feel more involved in your wedding process. Excitement is contagious, so if you continue to express all the reasons why you’re excited to elope privately, your loved ones will no doubt start to feel excited with you. Setting up a wedding website where you track your adventures, or even sending out a Save The Date (or an online announcement, if you want to have a eco-friendly green wedding day) to simply let close friends and family know that you’ll be eloping alone on a particular date so they can send you well wishes when your big day rolls around can also help everyone feel included. 

Commemorate the occasion

If you can, host a party before your elopement that’s just for your closest friends and family. This can be an engagement party, a bon voyage celebration, or even just a family dinner to announce your elopement, and answer questions if they arise. This step isn’t necessary, but it is a sweet gesture to show your family that eloping privately doesn’t mean you want to shut them out. If you’d prefer, you can also host a celebration after your elopement, where you can tell friends and family the story about your day, and maybe even have a few photos for everyone to gush over. Remember: just because they weren’t there doesn’t mean they don’t want to see how it all went down!

Let it go

At some point, you’re going to have to just let any negativity or disappointment from others go. Some people will always feel put out that they don’t get to be a part of your elopement, and that’s OK. Give yourself permission to put your happiness first, and start your marriage the way you want to. Eloping without family and friends can seem like a daunting, or even selfish, action. But in the end, your marriage is personal, and the only people entitled to be a part of it are you and your spouse. 

If the idea of major wedding planning or being the center of attention is causing you stress, give yourself permission to consider eloping without family and friends. You can feel totally relaxed during your ceremony,  and with these tips, you feel just as relaxed and excited when telling your loved ones about your nuptials!

Written by Tori Ward

Victoria Ward is a writer at Simply Eloped as well as a Keats Marginalia scholar and Storyfort finalist for her fiction and creative nonfiction. When she is not writing about elopements, she writes grants for her research and non-profit work.